


A Difficult Time

by nalaa



Series: Those Two Strangers Who Met [13]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-08
Updated: 2012-09-15
Packaged: 2017-11-13 20:33:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/507455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nalaa/pseuds/nalaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 'Terra Nova' accident leaves Kathryn badly hurt and her loved ones must mend the pieces. (June, 2358)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to split this part in two chapters, it was getting too long :D

  


Lieutenant j.g. William Riker was resting on the couch of his shared quarters on board the USS Barcino. His shift ended half an hour ago and he was waiting for his friend, and roommate, to arrive so they could go to the holodeck and play a few rounds of Velocity. That morning, when he woke up, he discovered a message from Kathryn waiting on his computer. Excited, he had read it but hadn't had time to reply. _Now is a good time_ , he thought.

 

He got up from the couch and walked to his desk. He sat down but before he could turn on the computer, the door chime stopped him. Curious, he granted access to whoever he or she was without leaving his chair. The doors to his quarters opened and Admiral Nechayev stepped in. Quickly, he jumped to his feet and stood at attention.

 

"Admiral! What can I do for you?" He asked.

"At ease, Will. I'm not here as your superior officer." Alynna said, sadness heavy all over her voice,

"What's wrong?" Will asked, concerned.

"Let's sit down." She said while giving him a gently squeeze on the arm.

 

Will followed her to the couch but didn't sat next to her. He stood there, anxious, nervous, watching expectantly and waiting for her to deliver the apparently bad news. Nechayev took a few deep breaths, preparing herself, but Will spoke before she could begin.

 

"What's wrong? You're scaring me."

"There's been an accident." Will tried quickly to interrupt her but she raised her hand, halting him. "Let me explain."

 

After taking another deep breath, she continued.

 

"The Terra Nova, Admiral Janeway's prototype vessel, was doing it's first test flight around Tau Ceti Prime; Lieutenant Tighe and Kathryn were with him. We don't know what happened but they crashed into it's polar icecap; USS Atlantic arrived two hours later after receiving their distress call." She sighed deeply. "Edward and Justin didn't survive."

"And Kathryn?" He quickly asked, interrupting her.

"On board the Atlantic, en route to Earth. Their CMO is doing all he can but it's serious, she was badly hurt and is suffering from hypothermia. I don't know the details. Theo called me as soon as he heard. We'll know more after they reach Earth."

"Their ETA?"

"Two days at maximum warp. I cancelled our mission and changed course to Earth. We'll arrive a few hours before them. Another vessel will return to the planet to investigate the crash and to recover the bodies, if they can."

"What about Phoebe and Mrs. Janeway?"

"Theo and Owen Paris are on their way to speak with them. Theo will stay there until we arrive." Alynna got up and grabbed his hand. "Try to get some rest, Will. If you need anything, you know where to find me. Don't hesitate."

 

Giving him one last squeeze, she unloosed her hand and went to the door.

 

"Alynna." Will called.

 

She stopped, startled: it was the first time that Will used her first name. Slowly, she turned round to look at him, his look of anguish and panic almost making her cry all over again.

 

"I'll keep you informed." She said, reassuring him.

"Thank you."

 

Admiral Nechayev left his quarters. Will collapsed on the couch and hid his face on his hands.

 

### 

 

The USS Barcino arrived to Earth five hours before the Atlantic did. Admiral Nechayev transported directly to Indiana to be with her friend while Will went home with his parents to wait for more news. His grandmother joined them and, together, they waited ... And waited.

 

Exactly at 18:33, his combadge chirped. Quickly, he got up, walked to the kitchen to have some privacy and pressed it.

 

"Riker here."

_"Will, it's Theo Patterson. Alynna asked me to call you. The Atlantic is here and they transported Kathryn to Starfleet Medical. She's stable so they're going to operate her immediately. We're going with Gretchen and Phoebe to Medical to keep they company. You're welcome to join us, even though we won't know anything until they finish and it'll take a few hours._ "

"I'll be there as soon as I can, Admiral."

" _Ok. See you soon. Patterson out._ "

 

Will returned to the living room and explained the news before anyone could ask.

 

"They're here. Kathryn is at medical and going to have surgery. I'm gonna change out of this uniform and transport there."

"I'm going with you." Silvia said,

"Grandma..."

"I'm going Will, end of discussion."

"Ok. I'll be ready in five."

"Perfect."

 

### 

 

Silvia Riker and Will arrived at Starfleet Medical thirty minutes later. They entered the huge building and walked together to the front desk to ask where they had to go. They had three persons ahead so they waited patiently for their turn. When the last person ended, and it was finally their turn, a loud voice stopped them.

 

"WILL!!"

 

He quickly turned to the source of the voice. Phoebe stood there, still, with tears falling freely from her eyes. He ran to her and engulfed the devastated girl in a crushing hug. Silvia excused herself from the receptionist and approached them. Phoebe was clinging to Will while she openly cried. Will, holding his own tears, gently caressed her back trying to calm her. They stood in the middle of the hall for a few minutes, receiving the stares of everybody that walked past them. Silvia, wanting to give them some privacy, grabbed gently their arms and guided them to the sitting area on the corner, far from the looks of other people. They complied, not even sure of what got they moving, but thankful for the thought. Will sat down on one of the couches and made Phoebe sat next to him. Grateful, she rested her head on his shoulder. Silvia picked up a chair and sat in front of them. Opening her purse, she grabbed a tissue and silently offered it to Phoebe, who took it with a shy smile.

 

"Thank you." She said, her voice barely a whisper.

"You're welcome, dear."

 

Phoebe lifted her head and dried her cheeks and blew her nose before throwing the tissue into the trash can. Will grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

 

"Phoebs..." He began, not sure of what to say.

"I know, Will. Don't worry." She said, understanding him.

"How are you holding up?"

"I don't know. This is crazy! I'm not sure if I can believe it. My father is dead and my sister is fighting for her life and nobody wants to tell me what the hell happened!" Phoebe exclaimed, her voice raising higher and louder at every word she spoke.

"Where's your mother, dear?" Silvia asked, trying to change the subject and avoiding that the girl became more upset.

 

Phoebe looked at her as if she hadn't noticed the older woman before. Will, mentally kicking himself for his mistake, introduced them.

 

"Phoebe, this is Silvia Riker, my grandmother. Grandma, she's Kathryn sister."

"Sorry for the scene, Mrs. Riker." Phoebe said.

"Don't worry, dear. Call me Silvia, please. And I'm so sorry. If you need anything..."

"Thanks."

"You seem familiar ... You came to my husband's funeral, right?"

"Yeah, I was there, but I only spoke with Will. I didn't want to intrude."

"Thank you for being there."

 "You're welcome." Phoebe said, shyly. "Katie talks a lot about you."

"Where's your Mom, Phoebs?" Will asked again.

"In the waiting room. I went to the cafeteria to eat something." She said before quickly getting up. "Shit! She must be worried. I told here I'd be back in fifteen minutes and it's been more than half an hour."

"We'll go with you." Will said while he and Silvia got up.

 

### 

 

The Janeway family, thanks to the influence of their high positioned friends, had a big private waiting room, only for them, equipped with a huge viewscreen, some tables and a lot of places to sit. It seemed comfortable enough to spend a few hours.

 

Gretchen Janeway sat on one couch holding hands with her friend Alynna Nechayev. Admiral Theo Patterson sat in a chair next to them. Owen Paris and his wife stood a bit aside, talking in hushed tones trying to not disturb the rest. Martha, Edward's sister, as well as Gretchen' siblings, sat together around one of the tables.

 

Gretchen was restless, she kept fidgeting on her sit, incapable of holding still. She played with her wedding ring, with her hair, with her bracelets, with the tiny gold chain hanging around her neck, with her earrings, until Alynna grabbed both her hands between her own, stopping her. Exasperated, she stood up.

 

"Where the hell is this kid?" She asked to nobody in particular.

 

Before anyone could answer, Phoebe stormed into the room, almost running, with Will and Silvia following a few steps behind her.

 

"Sorry Ma." She quickly apologized, having heard her mother's angry words just a moment before. "I found Will and his Grandma at the lobby and lost track of time."

 

Gretchen, at first, felt like yelling to her youngest daughter for worrying her but, knowing that she was a bit on the edge, decided to let it pass and smiled sadly instead.

 

"It's ok, dear." She finally said.

 

Gretchen approached the trio and kissed her daughter's cheek before acknowledging Will and Silvia.

 

"Mrs. Janeway. I'm so sorry." Will said, taking her hands and leaning to kiss her cheek.

"I know, William. Thank you." Gretchen replied as she returned the gesture. Then, she shook with the older woman. "Mrs. Riker, it's a pleasure to meet you. Kathryn speaks very highly of you."

"Thanks. You have two wonderful daughters, you must be proud." Silvia paused for a second and continued. "Please accept my condolences over your loss."

"Thank you."

 

Phoebe, after smiling at them, accompanied her mother to her previous seat and popped herself between her and Alynna. She put her head on Gretchen' shoulder and grabbed her hand, resting them on her thigh. Will and Silvia made a round through the room greeting the others before settling down to wait.

 

Hours went by, with people arriving and some leaving. Past dinner time, Will convinced his grandmother to return home with the promise to call her when he knew something. At midnight, a very few remained there: Gretchen, Phoebe, Will, Alynna and Theo. They sat together, talking in hushed tones, waiting for someone to come and deliver any news. During they time there, a nurse stopped by every couple of hours but only told them that Kathryn was still in surgery.

 

Someone knocked on the door frame to get their attention. Everybody quickly stood up and looked, expectantly, at the woman dressed in scrubs. She walked into the room.

 

"Mrs. Janeway?" She asked.

"That's me." Gretchen answered, stepping in front of the rest.

"Would you accompany me, please?"

"Could we talk here? It'll save me the trouble of having to repeat to them all you explain to me. I'd provably forget half the things." The doctor nodded. "Is Kathryn alright?"

"She will be. Let's sit down."

 

The doctor approached the table and sat down, gesturing Gretchen to sit with her. Phoebe took the seat next to her mother while Alynna, Theo and Will stood behind them.

 

"I'm Doctor Louise Carter, I was leading the team during the operation. The surgery went well, better that we expected. It was difficult at some points but we managed to solve all the problems that appeared."

 

Everybody breathed deeply, relieved. Dr. Carter let them assimilate the first round of news before continuing.

 

"I read the report written by my colleague at the Atlantic. Kathryn was in a very bad shape when they rescued her. She had six broken ribs, a broken hip, a bad concussion and signs of moderate hypothermia. The Atlantic is a survey vessel and its sickbay is not equipped with the necessary instruments to deal with that kind of trauma; that's the reason they transported Kathryn to Earth. Dr. Wynson did everything he could to stabilize her and kept her alive until they arrived this afternoon. There were a few complications that began during the journey but that we managed to solve. Due to the broken ribs and the trauma that her ribcage suffered, Kathryn developed a pneumothorax. Her kidneys were bruised and, for a few minutes, we were afraid of an spinal injury. We treated everything during the surgery and her spinal cord is fine, a bit swollen but her body will deal with it in the next couple of days. Her hip took more word, it was broken in a few pieces, some of them a bit small for our taste, but we managed to reconstruct it and seal the bones."

"Will she make a full recovery?" Phoebe asked, scared.

"Yes, physically she'll be fine. We're gonna keep her at the ICU, sedated, for at least seventy-two hours to allow her body to rest. We'll evaluate her when she wakes up and, then, decide if we move her to a regular room or if we keep her there for a few more days."

"And psychologically?" Alynna asked.

"From what they told me, the accident was very traumatic and she lost her father and her friend. I'm not an expert but, certainly, she'll need time to recover from the events. When she's well enough, we can request a counselor to work with her."

"Can we see her?" Gretchen quickly asked.

"Visitor hours are over but I understand your need to check on her. We're very strict at ICU but I'll make an exception for a few minutes, ten at max. You all need your rest. Tomorrow, we'll talk and arrange the visits."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"You're welcome. If you come with me, I'll show you her room."

 

Dr. Carter and Gretchen stood up and both looked surprised when Phoebe got up too.

 

"Phoebe?" Gretchen questioned.

"I'm coming with you." She said, firmly.

"Honey..."

"I'm coming, Ma."

"Okay."

 

Together, the three women left the waiting room and walked through the silent halls of Starfleet Medical. They crossed the doors of the ICU and entered the main room. The doctor stopped walking and turned round to speak with them.

 

"You'll see a lot of screens and machines flashing and beeping in the room, some of them attached to Kathryn. She also has a breathing mask, supplying her additional oxygen to help her lungs heal and regenerate. Don't be scared, think that it's only temporary."

"Okay." Gretchen said.

"I'll leave you alone. I'll be back in ten minutes."

"Thank you, Doc." Phoebe said, smiling sadly at her.

 

The doctor left their side. Gretchen grabbed Phoebe's hand and, together, they walked into the room.

 

They both gasped at the sight, a sob escaping from Phoebe's parted lips. She quickly left her mother' side and approached the bed. Gently, she caressed her sister's hand, unconsciously following the rhythm of the beeping machines.  Gretchen stood on the other side, debating internally if she should touch her or not. Finally, she leaned down and kissed her daughter's forehead, tenderly stroking her hair.

 

"Katie, we're here with you. Everything is gonna be alright."

 

### 

 

The next seventy-two hours passed very slowly, seeming like weeks for those who were worried about Kathryn. Gretchen and Phoebe spent all the time they could, and were allowed, at her side, softly talking to her even though they knew she couldn't heard them. ICU policy only permitted two visits at the same time and they were only for immediate family.

 

Phoebe sat on a chair next to her sister's bed. The doctors had retired the sedation a few hours before and they were waiting for Kathryn to wake up on her own. Her mother was down at the cafeteria eating dinner while she kept her sister accompanied.

 

A soft groan alerted Phoebe and made her look at her sister. Kathryn was beginning to move, not quite awake yet. She got up quickly and grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently while leaning down to talk to her.

 

"Katie?" Phoebe asked, concerned.

 

Kathryn set free her hand from her sister's tight grasp and tried to remove the breathing mask out of her face. Phoebe put it on place again and stroked her face in a slight attempt to ease her. Kathryn, slowly, opened her eyes but closed them a second later. Phoebe lowered the lights.

 

"Try again." She encouraged.

 

Kathryn opened them for a second time but her sight was unfocused. Phoebe put herself in the middle of her line of sight and smiled at her.

 

"Hey, dorkface. Welcome back."

 

Kathryn made an effort and her view became clearer.

 

"Phoebe?" Kathryn asked with difficulties, her throat too dry to speak more than a few words.

"Yes, it's me Katie."

"Where?"

"Starfleet Medical. Let me get a doctor, ok? You've been unconscious for a few days. I'll be back in a moment."

 

Phoebe kissed her cheek and left the room running, looking for her sister's doctor. The medical team quickly got to the room and made her wait outside.

 

Ten minutes later, Gretchen stepped out of the turbolift and walked peacefully to the ICU. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw her youngest daughter outside Kathryn's room, pacing nervously up and down the corridor. She quickened her steps, forcing herself not to run.

 

"Phoebe! What's wrong?" Gretchen asked as she reached her.

"Kathryn is awake. The doctors are checking on her."

"Is she alright?"

"I think so. She was a bit disoriented but I suppose that's normal."

"How long have you been here?"

"Ten minutes."

 

Two minutes later, Dr. Carter joined them.

 

"Doctor! How is she?" Gretchen quickly asked before the doctor could begin to talk.

"She's fine, Mrs. Janeway, awake and alert of her surroundings. I've given her some pain medication for her headache. All vital signs are stable and improving. We'll keep the breathing mask for a few more hours. We gave her some water and she tolerated it well. Give her more if she asks but make sure that she drinks it slowly and in small quantities."

"Does she remember what happened?" Phoebe asked.

"I'm not sure and I didn't want to ask, she seemed calm and I didn't want to distress her. She'll have questions. Answer them but try to not give too much information. She'll be better in the morning and, together, we'll explain everything to her."

"Ok." Phoebe said.

"I think it would be a good idea if you spend the night with her. A nurse will check every hour but a familiar presence might help her stay calm so she'll be able to rest."

"Of course. Thanks Doctor." Gretchen said.

"I'll see you in the morning."

 

Dr. Carter returned to her office. Gretchen and Phoebe took a deep breath and entered the room. Kathryn laid awake on the bed, slightly raised, while a nurse made the last checks. They waited until she finished and left the room to approach the bed. Gretchen stroked her hair and waited for her daughter to acknowledge her. Kathryn turned her head to look at her, not an emotion showing on her face.

 

"Hey, Katie. How are you feeling?" Gretchen gently asked, smiling.

"I've been better, Ma." Kathryn answered, exhausted, her voice barely a whisper.

“You need to rest, sis.”

“I’ll try.”

 

Kathryn, comforted by her mother and her sister presence, closed her eyes and sighed deeply. She moved slightly on the bed trying to find a more com comfortable position to rest. A few minutes later, she opened her eyes again and looked directly to her mother, her sight full of sadness, pain and sorrow.

 

“Ma?” Kathryn murmured.

“Yes, honey?” Gretchen said, getting closer to hear her.

“It wasn’t a dream, right?” She asked, afraid.

“No, Katie. It wasn’t. But now, you have to sleep. Don’t worry. We’ll be here if you need anything, ok?”

“Ok.”

 

Kathryn grabbed her mother’s hand and closed her eyes, not seeing the tears falling down from Gretchen and Phoebe eyes.

 

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

  


 

 

 

 

"We need to know what happened."

"She's been out of ICU only for two days."

"I know, but two people died on the accident and we don't know why. She's the only one who can tell us something."

"Check the ship."

"It's still under the ice."

"Then wait."

"Gretchen..."

"I said no, Alynna. She's not well enough to revive it again. It's too soon."

"Let her decide. Kathryn is old enough to make her own decisions."

"She doesn't want to see anyone. What makes you think that she'll want to talk to someone about it?"

 

The bickering between the two women continued. They thought that Kathryn, inside her room, couldn't hear them but their voices had become louder as minutes went by and they discussion carried on.

 

Kathryn was laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, carefully listening to the conversation developing outside her room. She tried to call them and gain their attention so she could tell them to shut up, but they didn't hear her. Finally, tired of their voices filling up her room, she grabbed the plastic cup from the table and threw it to the door. The sound of the impact made the two women stop. They ran into the room, scared.

 

"What's wrong?" Gretchen quickly asked.

"Would you two, please, shut the fuck up and stop talking like I couldn't hear you?" Kathryn muttered, angry.

"Sorry, dear. We didn't know that ..." Gretchen began but her daughter cut her.

"That I could hear you? Yeah, I suppose." Kathryn said, her voice full of sarcasm. "What do you want to know?" She said to her godmother.

"Katie, I think..." Her mother began again.

"Ma, go get some coffee." She coldly said.

 

Stunned, Gretchen looked at her daughter's cold eyes with her mouth hanging open. Holding her tears as best as she could, she grabbed her purse and left the room. Kathryn relaxed on her bed and waited for Alynna to begin.

 

"Don't talk to your mother like that." Alynna said, irritated.

"Auntie..."

"No, Katie, don't Auntie me. It's not going to work."

 

Kathryn closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Alynna, careful with Kathryn's still aching hip and ribs, sat down on the bed and squeezed her hand.

 

"Hey. Look at me." She gently said, grabbing her chin and forcing her to open her eyes. "You're going through a lot right know. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you, but it's not your mother's fault. She also lost one of the most important persons in her life. She's grieving but she's also very worried about her daughter so give her a break."

 

Smiling sadly, Alynna wiped up the tears that were falling down Kathryn's face. Angry at herself for that display of emotion, Kathryn stopped Alynna and finished to remove them herself. Then, she tapped the controls of the bed to raise her upper body into a nearly sitting position.

 

"Ask."

Alynna looked at her, surprised. "What?" She asked.

"Sure you have a PADD in your purse. If I have to make an statement I prefer to make it with you, not with some nameless Starfleet officer." Kathryn said, all traces of emotion well hidden inside her.

"Ok." She said while getting up and taking the PADD. She sat down on the chair next to the bed and turned on the device. "What do you remember?"

 

Kathryn breathed deeply and began.

 

### 

 

Admiral Nechayev left the room emotionally exhausted: hearing the events that occurred from Kathryn's point of view made her shiver. On one hand, she had to listen how her friend died; on the other, her heart broke while listening to her goddaughter recall the facts. Kathryn, trying to appear strong, explained everything she remembered with no emotion on her voice, seeming detached from it as if she had been merely an observer.

 

Absent-minded, she walked to the turbolift. Just when she was about to press the panel to call it,  someone calling her name made her halt. She turned around and saw her friend sitting alone in one of the overstuffed chairs in the waiting room. Alynna used the distance that separated them to mend herself before having to speak with Gretchen. She sat on the low table in front of her friend and grabbed her hand trying to give her all the support she could.

 

"She did it, right? She made her statement." Gretchen said so quietly that Alynna was barely able to hear her.

"She did."

"And?"

"Gretchen..."

"I know, I know. You can't talk until the investigation is over, I understand." Gretchen quickly interrupted. "I only want to know if she's alright, Alynna."

"I don't know, I can't be sure Gretchen. She told me everything she could remember but..."

"But what?"

"She did it so coldly ... Too serene, as if she had been there but hadn't felt anything."

 

Gretchen lowered her eyes and looked to her fidgeting hands. Alynna got up from the table and knelt in front of her, slightly raising Gretchen's chin to be able to look at her directly to her eyes.

 

"Gretchen. Everything is gonna be alright. I know the next few months will be difficult but you are strong, your daughters are strong. And we'll be here to help you three whenever you need us."

"I know, but thank you for reminding me Alynna."

"You're welcome. Now go with your daughter, she's waiting for you."

"Yeah? It didn't seem like she wanted me there."

"Katie's not sure how she's feeling, you've seen her moods change quickly. I spoke with her and she's very sorry about what happened before. So, go!"

 

Both women got up and fell into a tight embrace. Afterwards, Alynna walked to the lift while Gretchen returned to her daughter's room. Kathryn was laying with her eyes closed but Gretchen knew that she wasn't asleep. She left her purse on the hanger behind the door and sat down on her chair. She put her elbow on the bed and rested her head on her hand before a sigh escaped her closed lips. She looked at her daughter, memorizing her tired features and how sad she looked even in her fictitious sleep. Kathryn opened her eyes and turned her head to look al her mother. Instantly, she felt deeply sorry and remorse clouded her mind while remembering the harsh words that had been leaving her mouth those past few days. Raising her hand, she gently stroked Gretchen's arm.

 

"I'm sorry, Ma." Kathryn said shyly, her voice almost a whisper.

"I know, honey."

"I've been a bitch."

"Yeah, a bit." Gretchen replied, smiling.

"Ma! You're supposed to deny it not agree with me!" Kathryn exclaimed, pretending to be offended.

"I never lied to you, Katie. I won't start now." Gretchen tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. "It's good to see you smiling."

"I'm trying. I'll be ok in record time, don't worry"

"Katie, the grieving process is a long one and has its own stages. Don't try to suppress your feelings, don't try to avoid them. It's a natural process and you have to let yourself go through it."

"I thought your doctorate was in mathematics, not in psychology." Kathryn said, sarcastically.

"Well, are you going to talk to a counselor?"

"I have to if I wanna return to duty."

"There's life beyond Starfleet, you know. And it's going to take a while for you to be able to return."

"Why?" Kathryn asked, surprised.

"Because, first, you need to regain your physical strength and mobility. Then, you have to recover from the psychological consequences of the accident. It's more than grieve that you're going through and you'll have to deal with it before they allow you to return."

"Who told you that?"

"Nobody had to tell me, Katie, I know."

"We'll see." Kathryn answered before closing her eyes again.

 

An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Mother and daughter spent a few minutes silent, calming themselves down and thinking deeply, trying to not snap to the other. They didn't realized it but their personality was, sometimes, too alike. Kathryn opened her eyes again and looked intensely at her mother. Gretchen, being aware, got up from the chair and sat down on the bed while taking her daughter's hand between her own.

 

"What's wrong Katie?" She asked, worried at the sight.

"Nothing." Kathryn answered lowering her eyes.

"Hey, you know you can ask everything you want. You've never been afraid to do it."

"I was watching FedNews this morning and they said that Starfleet has scheduled Daddy's official service for next Friday."

"I know."

"Dr. Carter told me that she'll provably discharge me next week."

 

Gretchen's eyes opened widely when she realized what her daughter meant. Starfleet Protocol Office scheduled their official service and Kathryn wouldn't be able to attend. With the rest of the family, they thought about doing a private ceremony in a few weeks but Gretchen hadn't thought of talking about it with her daughter.

 

"I'll tell them to reschedule it."

"Don't." Kathryn quickly replied.

"No? You don't want to attend?"

"I'm not sure, Ma." She said, distressed.

 

Gretchen used one of her hands to gently caress her daughter's hair while she waited for her to continue speaking.

 

"I know I wanna do something. I have ... need, I need to say goodbye somehow. I'm not sure if I wanna do it with half Starfleet looking at me with pity eyes and sad compassionate smiles."

"I understand. Martha and I talked about this. We thought that, in a few weeks, we could organize a private ceremony before we bury the ashes on Lake George."

"It's a good idea." Kathryn said but Gretchen knew that there was something more in her mind.

"Katie, tell me." Gretchen insisted.

"Where are they?"

"Downstairs."

"Do you think they'll let me see them before the service?"

"Katie ..."

"Ma, please. It's my last chance to do it."

"Are you sure?"

"I am. I have to do it. I need to see them before I can really accept it. I need closure."

"I'll arrange it but with one condition."

"Name it."

"You aren't doing this alone, I'll come with you."

"Ma..."

"Take it or leave it."

"Ok. You win."

 

### 

 

In Starfleet Medical's basement was where the morgue was located. There weren't many people that walked its corridors and only authorized staff worked down there. The lift door opened and Gretchen pushed Kathryn's wheelchair outside it. A doctor was waiting for them and greeted them with an smile. In silence, they went along the hallway until they reached the last door, where they stopped. Gretchen walked around the chair and knelt in front of her daughter.

 

"Are you sure, Katie? If you changed your mind we ..."

"I'm sure. I need it." Kathryn interrupted her.

"Ok."

 

Gretchen stood up and nodded to the doctor. He introduced his code and opened the door. They got into the room and the door closed behind them. Then, the doctor knelt before Kathryn so he could talk directly to her.

 

"Preparations were made last night so you don't have to worry how they'll look. Take your time, there's no hurry."

"Thanks Doctor." Kathryn smiled shyly.

"Who do you want to see first?"

"Justin."

 

The doctor went to the corresponding hatch while Gretchen wheeled Kathryn near it. The hatch opened after introducing the correct code. Kathryn tried to get up and Gretchen went quickly to aid her. When she was stable on her feet, slowly, they approached the body and stood there, silent. A few minutes passed, Kathryn looking at her friend with tears falling freely from her eyes. She caressed gently his cold hand and his hair after leaning down, with her mothers help, to kiss his cheek.

 

"Goodbye, my friend. I owe you my life. I promise I won't forget."

 

Gretchen nodded to the doctor and he closed the hatch before walking to another one and opening it. She went to grab the chair but Kathryn stopped her.

 

"I'll walk."

 

Together, they went to the doctors position but, just before they arrived, Kathryn turned around and hid her face on her mother's shoulder.

 

"Katie?" Gretchen asked, concerned.

"I need a moment." Kathryn said.

 

Gretchen, holding her own tears, hugged her and stroked lovingly her head while she whispered words of encouragement.

 

"I'm here, honey."

"I know, Ma. I thought that I would be able to do this alone but ... Thank you, I know it's difficult for you too."

"Don't worry, ok? We're in this together."

 

Kathryn raised her head to look at her and smiled sadly. Gretchen removed the tears from both their faces and kissed her forehead. Together, they walked the remaining steps. Kathryn quickly grabbed her mother's hand while, at the same time, a soft sob escaped her throat.

 

"Daddy." She whispered.

 

With her free hand, Kathryn straightened her father's rank bar on his dress uniform. She rested the hand on his chest and breathed deeply, tears falling down once again. Carefully, she kissed his forehead and stroked his face.

 

"I'll miss you, Daddy. Don't worry, I'll take care of Mom and Phoebe for you. I love you."

 

### 

 

The day of the official Starfleet service arrived and Kathryn waited in her hospital room, alone, for her family to return. She had a open book on her lap but she had abandoned it a long time ago. At that moment, she was lost in her thoughts. She was so distracted that she didn't hear the soft knock on her door. The sound of a clearing throat returned her attention to Earth. She raised her eyes to look at the door and sat straight, surprised.

 

"Can I come in?"

"Will!"

 

Will, dressed in full dress uniform, entered the room and walked quickly into her open arms. Kathryn hugged him, fiercely, and didn't want to let go. But she did after a pair of minutes. Will smiled at her and sat down on the bed after he kissed her cheek.

 

"How are you, Kitty-Kat?"

"I'm fine, Big Guy."

"Really?"

"Really. What are you doing here?" She asked, changing the subject.

"I was going to the service and remembered that you'd be here alone so I decided to sneak in and keep you company. Your mother told me that you didn't want visitors but I hoped ..."

"I'm glad you're here." She quickly said, interrupting his line of thought. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"Don't scare me like this again, ok? Twice in a year is enough for my poor heart." He joked.

"I'll try." She replied, smiling.

 

Will used the comfortable silence that filled the room to take a good look of her. He quickly noted her tired features, her puffy red eyes and the exhausted pose. Kathryn perceived his  close examination and an small grin appeared on her face.

 

"Do I pass the inspection?"

"You look exhausted, Kitty-Kat."

"Well, thank you Big Guy." She said, sarcastically.

"You haven't been sleeping, right?"

"I've been trying but it's hard. Every time I close my eyes and fall asleep nightmares come to haunt me."

"Why didn't you ask for something to help you?" He asked, concerned.

"Because I don't want a sedative. I've had enough."

"You have to sleep. You need it to be able to recover."

"I know but ..." She began but didn't finish the sentence.

"But ..." He said, grabbing her hand and encouraging her.

"I'm afraid." She finally answered after a few seconds in silence.

 

Will sat closer to her and rested his forehead on hers, caressing gently her face.

 

"You're tired. Why don't you try? I'll be here, right next to you."

 

Kathryn lowered her eyes and spent a minute thinking about it. Then, she raised them to look at him.

 

"Will you hold me?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"Of course."

 

She moved herself to the edge of the bed, making room for Will to lay down next to her. He took of his boots and laid on the bed. Kathryn turned her body around and moved as close as she could, resting her head and one hand on his chest and putting one of her legs over his. When she was comfortable, Will enveloped her with his arms and ran his hand up and down her arm.

 

"Thanks, Big Guy."

"You're welcome, Kitty-Kat. Now, close your eyes and try to sleep."

 

Kathryn complied and tried to relax. Ten minutes later, she was asleep.

 

### 

 

A couple of hours later, Phoebe Janeway got out of the lift and walked to her sister's room. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the cute scene in front of her. Both Kathryn and Will were asleep on the bed, her sister resting all over him and Will with his arms around her, embracing and protecting her. The expression on their faces was one of calmness and joy. Trying to not disturb them, she left her purse on the hook behind the door and leant against the doorframe, looking at them while an smile appeared on her face. Five minutes later, she heard her mother's footsteps and turned her head to look at her. Before Gretchen could say anything, Phoebe put her finger on her lips, signaling her to be quiet.

 

"What?" Gretchen whispered to her daughter.

"Kathryn is asleep."

"Really?" She asked, surprised.

 

Gretchen looked over Phoebe's shoulder and saw them.

 

"What the hell is he doing here?" She said, raising her voice a bit.

"Shhhhhhht! Be quiet or you'll wake them!" Phoebe whispered.

 

A nurse who saw the scene approached them.

 

"Is there something wrong, Mrs. Janeway?"

"Linda, what is he doing here?" Gretchen said, pointing her finger to the room. "We agreed that visitors weren't allowed."

"We haven't seen him come in. He must have sneaked in during the shift change. I went to wake him but both are sleeping so peacefully ... And Kathryn is getting, finally, some rest so I let them. I can wake them up if you want."

"No, no. You're right. Kathryn needs her rest and it seems that, with his help, she's getting it."

"Ok." Linda said, smiling.

 

The nurse continued with her tasks. Gretchen sighed and put her arm around Phoebe's waist.

 

"Katie's happier when he's around. You'll have to learn to like him, Ma." Phoebe said while she rested her head on her mother's shoulder.

"They broke up a year ago."

"It's a shame. They make a wonderful couple. And I don't know why but I think they'll forget about that soon and start their relationship again."

"We'll see."

 


End file.
